Rockmelon Smoothie - Beetle Juice

For something different, I tried a smoothie after my lunch, in order to wash down the dryness of the bread from MYO. The rockmelon baby from Beetle Juice, is a standard smoothie. Rockmelon, banana, and a few other fruits/fruit ice creams/juices are blended together for a beverage.

Beetle Juice have recently (past 3 months) come under new management, and since then the speed with which you are served has drastically got slower. The new manger has had a sign saying that the new menu is coming for the last 4 weeks now, and we're still not any closer to having any idea as to what it is.

The shop has a loyalty program that gives you every 5th smoothie free (assuming you grab a card and get it stamped). Also selling fruit juices, blends and some muffins, yoghurt, other drinks and average coffee, Beetle Juice is a favourite of many for the 'red bull smoothie' it serves for that extra caffeine hit.

Presentation: 7/10 It's a drink in a cup, not much you can do with that.

Size: 8/10 A large smoothie I can walk down two blocks, back into the office and drink it down over the next hour, getting my sugar fix and keeping me awake after a big food court meal.

Value for Money: 6.5/10 for an extra dollar you get another 250mL or so in the cup for the upgrade to large. Timeliness is an issue, I'd be happy paying what I pay for a drink made a minute or so faster, or for one with fresh fruit in the same amount of time.

Quality: 5/10 Mostly frozen fruit or icecream is used, In my fruit drinks, I have a preference for fresh fruit (which would take a little longer to prepare, but the final quality in my opinion would be worth it).

Overall: 6.5/10 Sometimes you just need a liquid pick-me-up.

Kebabzzbar - Chicken Kebab with the Lot - Take two!

Earlier this month, I had a chicken kebab from Kebababzzbar (link). It wasn't overly impressive. This week, I had another one, everything almost exactly the same, except for the sauce (I had satay and garlic sauce this time). The only other difference was the server. This time I had Short Girl. In the grand world of kebab making, not only does the quality of the meat, the freshness of the salad all account for the overall goodness of the kebab, but the server making the kebab for you plays an important roll. A little bit too much salad here, a few too many olives, too few jalapeños and the flavour profile of the kebab changes.

Short Girl is very proficient at making the kebab, you order, and she doesn't need to confirm for the third time that you do in fact want lettuce on your "kebab with the lot". You get the lot. She confirms the amount of jalapeños, and the fact that you do want olives, green pepper, and cucumber, but the rest is THE LOT. This is a great boon in the ordering process. It means you can say a kebab with the lot, and continue talking to Corporal Kebab or foodcourtguru all whilst being served and not worrying about having to answer "do you want cheese on this?".

The other really good thing about Short Girl is the wrapping of the kebab. You may remember that last time, my kebab was falling out the bottom, and not wrapped very well. Short Girl obviously has strong wrists from day after day of kebab wrapping, and she knows exactly how tightly to wrap it without either food falling out the end because it's wrapped too tightly, or having big gaps of air with holes due to it being wrapped too loose.


Overall: The stock standard kebab that I've come to expect from kebabzzbar. A solid 8/10

Winner: Kebab, of course

Mr Bird's MYO - Meat & Salad Roll

MYO gives you a great chance to make just the roll or sandwich that you've been wanting, without having to go to the shop and purchase 15 different ingredients. Today I chose a meat-heavy deal, which is not unusual.

I went for a brown roll with no margerine, topped with chicken, ham, salami, pastrami, cheddar, mozzerella, eggplant relish, avocado sauce, tomato relish, sun dried tomatoes, jalopenos, tomato and english spinach.

Presentation I'm reluctant to give a score for this category. Mr Bird shouldn't be penalised just because I make a dodgy looking sandwich.

Size You really can fit quite a bit into a roll if you plan ahead and pack it in well. 8/10

Value for money A bit disappointing being charged $8.50. There is a base charge of $6.50 for a roll, and then extra charges if you exceed a certain weight. It turns out I paid for the extra meat and relish I piled on. 5/10

Quality I think the roll could have been fresher (it didn't taste like it was baked fresh that day), and the jalopenos were a bit dry and bland. Otherise the meat and salads are fresh, and there is generally good variety with the selections, although a few more cheese options would be appreciated. 7/10

Overall If you're too lazy / disorganised to make your lunch at home, or if you want the luxury of hand picking from a large selection of sandwich ingredients without needing a fridge full of tupperware, then this is the place for you. It's a healthy choice in a mostly unhealthy food court, but I wouldn't do it every day. 6/10

Who wins - kebab or meat & salad roll? Iron Chef Kebab

MYO - Make Your Own!

Today, branching out from the standard food court fare, I chose to make my own roll at Mr Bird's MYO (weblink). This obviously gave me a much healthier meal than I would have had, and yet, somehow I still can't quite come to grips with paying for a meal that you make yourself. For $7.50 I had a wholemeal roll, with roast chicken pieces, avocado sauce, ham, cheese, beetroot, tomato, lettuce, sundried tomatoes and mayonnaise. Yes, you're paying for the convenience of having a smattering of different toppings, fillers etc to choose from for your lunch without having to do the preparation or cleaning, but with a bit of pre-organisation I don't see why you can't do the same thing at home.

Presentation I can't give a score for this category. The self-service nature takes the responsibility of presentation away from the proprietor, even if they do wrap the sandwich/roll up and put it in a bag for you. If you stack it too high it's your fault your roll falls apart.

Size When you choose what goes in the roll, or sandwich, and you choose the bread, how much you put in, size doesn't matter. 8/10

Value for money Large quantity of decent-enough food for only $7.50. However, the way they work out the cost is a $6.50 flat charge with every X grams after that paid for. It would be cheaper to make your own at home, but then you need to do the preparation, the cleanup, and have the large range of choices. 5/10

Quality About what one would expect. The bread had been sitting out in the baskets on display, ready cut to make, so it was a bit dry. 6/10

Overall If you're going out for lunch, you don't want to go here every week. Once every so often will be more than enough to get a fix for a few of the things you don't make in your own lunch at home. 6/10

Who wins - kebab or large combination? Kebab takes the gong for this week.

Kebabbzzbar - Chicken kebab with the lot

This is the foodcourt meal by which all others are compared. Reliable, faithful, consistent. A good midday meal that will keep you going until dinner.

This is my standard kebab. The ingredients, in order of application are pita bread, hommus, tabouli, cheese, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, onion, capsicum, olives, extra jalopenos, chicken, and finished with an egg. To that is added garlic sauce, barbeque sauce and hot chilli sauce.

Quality salad ingredients are important in a kebab. The hommus is tasty without being too vinegary; the greens are fresh and crisp. A nice touch is that the olives are not the flavourless sliced black Spanish variety which seem to pop up everywhere - instead they serve up tasty kalamatas.

This particular kebab was done just right, except for being a little light on in the sauce department. Otherwise all the key factors were there - good quantity of meat, not greasy, soft fresh pita, well rolled and easy to eat without spilling it everywhere.

Presentation There's only so many ways to serve a kebab. This one was double-wrapped in paper, cut in half and placed on a plate. Marks off for not putting a serviette on the plate - it is an essential item for eating a kekab - although they are readily available on the counter. 8/10

Size Very good lunch size. Leaves you feeling full but you don't get the loss of concentration and heavy feeling that can follow a grease fest (refer previous post on Foolok). 9/10

Value for money Perhaps a bit steep at $9.40. 7/10

Quality Very good. An advantage of getting a kebab during the busy lunch period is that you're not getting 3 hour old pre-cut dried out meat. 8/10

Overall I would say 'very impressive', but it is hard to be impressed by such a simple meal. However, what is impressive is how many meals are unimpressive by comparison. Capisce? An all but guaranteed winner every time. 8/10

Who wins - kebab or kebab? Iron Chef Kebab

Foolok - Large Combination

After running in to work at 6:30 in the morning and skipping morning tea, I was ravenous by lunch time. As can happen in such circumstances, my stomach and brain conspired to over-compensate for the low calorie start to the day, and I ended up getting a mountain of food from Foolok Cuisine.

Foolok has about 12 dishes available, and selection is a self-serve affair. I crammed some of most dishes on my plate, giving me a good taste of the variety. The food is slightly above average Chinese foodcourt fare. The vermicelli was delicious, and the meat dishes had a large meat to fat ratio. The veges still had some crispness left, the sauces did not have that 'all tastes the same' feel, and the deep-fried dishes were crisp without dripping with oil. Having said that, the food was a bit greasier than what you'd expect from a normal lunch dish, although about the expected level of greasiness for foodcourt Chinese.

Particulary good was the satay, the barbeque duck and the honey chicken.

At the end of the bain marie near the cash register is a selection of chilli sauces and some fresh corriander. The chilli was very hot and tasty, and the corriander added some much needed greenery to my plate.

After consuming a large amount of high-carb greasy food I felt fairly Foolok'd for the rest of the afternoon. But that's exactly what I was after.

Presentation I can't give a score for this category. The self-service nature takes the responsibility of presentation away from the restauranteur.

Size At first glance the plates supplied for a large combination do not look that big. However, with a bit of forward planning you can stack up a good deal of food. One mark off for inticing me to eat too much. 9/10

Value for money Large quantity of decent-enough food for only $9.00. But it leaves you aching for some fresh fruit or something to cleanse the pallet. 7/10

Quality About what you would expect. No surprises, good or bad. 7/10

Overall If you're after a grease fix and don't mind suffering the after affects, this is just what you need. 7/10

Who wins - kebab or large combination? Iron Chef Kebab

Jandakot Cafe - Aviators Burger

Right, all you tie-wearing, napkin-using city types, time to review a real burger, the AVIATORS BURGER (also known as the AV Burger, AB or the I'm-married-so-it-doesn't-matter anymore burger), available from the Aviator's Cafe at Jandakot Airport.

The Aviators Cafe is one of two eating establishments at Jandakot, the other being the Runway Cafe at the Aero Club. This is more of an a-la-carte venue and hence the Aviator's Cafe (henceforth known as the Kafe) enjoys somewhat of a monopoly. Consequently there is no real drive for the competitive edge. I will explain...

Presentation: Either made out the back or plucked warm(ish) from the bain-marie, the AV burger wins no points for presentation. Wrapped in garden variety burger paper (entirely possibly coming from the garden) with the added garnish of "AV Burger" written on the top with delicious black texta, this meal screams class. But there is something about it reminds me of the rustic charm of a Melbourne Pie Shop (less the salmonella and old Italians) 2/10.

Size: This is where you go for the AV. Made with your stock standard sugar infused burger bun, with not 1 but 2 all meat (of some description) patties, lettuce, mayo and cheese-flavoured-snack-portions with the special sauce (tomato... not really that special), this burger is surprisingly adequate for a luncheon. 7/10

Value for Money: I now refer you back to my previous comments on the geographical monoploy of the Kafe. If I really wanted to, I could drive the 5 or so minutes to the Farrington Road Shops and the veritable smorgasbord of bourgeois foods, but the Kafe knows as well as I do that I can't be bothered, and hence they now charge $5.50 for this culinary masterpiece. Bit of a ripoff, but it's too much life effort to go anywhere else. 5/10 for playing the game well.

Quality: This burger has lasting value. Any lunch that is still going strong a 4pm is quality meat sandwich product. The ingredients are all your standard fillings, but thinking back, why bother with anything better? Like anyone is going to Jandakot for a good meal, and as we have established, Jandakotians ain't going anywhere else. It's either the burger or a $6.00 Ham 'n' Salad roll.... Go the burger. 3/10.

Overall: Lets face it, sooner or later you just want a cheap 'ol burger with all the drippings. Mean score: 4.25/10

Winner: Probably the kebab, but it's just too far away...

The Carvery - Roast Beef Roll

The Carvery is a roast meat shop, serving Roast Lamb, Pork, Beef and Turkey. They also offer a number of combinations and sides.

For a Roast Beef Roll with cheese, gravy and coleslaw, a side of Potato Chips and a can of soft drink (or bottle of water) they will take $10.90 from you, a pretty good deal considering the stack of chips I received on my plate.

Presentation: Carved in front of you, the fat cut off, and made fresh. There's enough meat and gravy in the roll for a medium size lunch without having to have any sides. Because of the nature of the meats, the fat is carved away if need be, and it is a quite healthy option for food court food. Once the roll was made (They put the coleslaw in my roll), it was shoved to the side of the plate in order to fit about my head's size worth of chips in a space of a hand. 6/10

Size: A good size for a hungry lunch. If I partake in consumption at this establishment again, I will not be getting a side of chips. The roll itself will do for me. 8/10

Value for money: Pretty good value, again, giving you different options as to what you want to eat and how much you want to spend, as per usual side options are probably overpriced (for a handful of cheese, $0.50). 7.5/10

Quality: The roll was rather good, fresh bread. Beef was cooked enough so still juicy, not too dry, and yet still had a tint of red through it, just the way I like it. There could have been more coleslaw, but not too much. The chips weren't crash hot, not really crunchy, but they had today's worth of potato in them... 6/10

Overall: I'd eat there again, probably choosing a different option, but what I had today was just about right for what I was looking for. 7.5/10

Winner: Roast Beef Roll or Kebab? Evens. On Par. Level Pegging

Fujimore - Chicken Katsu Set

Grasshoppers, it is time to once again enjoy your weekly drink from the fountain of FOODCOURTGURU knowledge:

Today's choice was the Chicken Katsu Set for $8.50 from Fujimore fine Japanese cuisine.

One notable feature of dining at Fujimore is waiting at the counter with all the other seagulls for NUMBER FOR-TEE-WUUN or was that NUMBER FOR-TEE-TOO to be bellowed by the shop assistant. Reason enough to frequent said dining establishment.

Presentation: 10/10 presented in a bento box, this dish is visually very appealing in all respects - colour, size and feng shui balance.

Health: 8/10 comprises spread of salad, sticky rice, sushi, miso soup and chicken. Things to watch for are the salty soy sauce and the fried chicken katsu. The teriyaki chicken also from Fujmore is a healthier choice given that it is not deep fried. Having said that, as deep fried food court fare goes, this is not bad as it is not greasy or oily.

Size: 8/10 the combination of salad, rice, sushi, miso and chicken provides a good sized meal.

Value for money: 8/10 healthy meal + good size + reasonable price at $8.50 = good value for money

The verdict: Chicken katsu set beats kebab - good value for money, heathly and not heavy.

Guest Review - AV Burger

Jandakot Cafe - Aviator's Burger

by...The Flying Kebab

Kebabzzbar - Chicken Kebab with the Lot

Kebabzzbar is your typical kebab shop, serving a range of selections. Lamb, Chicken and Falafel kebabs are available. They also offer a multitude of options with what's in your kebab - A kebab with cheese, egg, hommus through to a kebab with the lot.


A chicken kebab with the lot will set you back $9.40 and you can select anything from the complimentary salad bar - hommus, lettuce, cheese, onion, tabouli, tomato, green capsicum, olives, cucumber and jalapeños. There is a selection of about 8 sauces to compliment your kebab choice.

Presentation: There is no 'nice' way present a kebab. Each kebab is wrapped in paper twice around the bread, and then a Kebabzzbar staff member gives you two options, eat in or takeaway. If you choose to takeaway, the kebab is placed in a small plastic bag, if you choose to eat in, the kebab is cut in half, and the two halves placed on a plate. 5/10

Size: A good size, however if you are feeling less hungry, you can select a different option which wouldn't be packed quite as full as the one I had. 9/10

Value for money: Pretty good value, again, giving you different options as to what you want to eat and how much you want to spend. The plain kebab starts at around $7.00. 7.5/10

Quality: This is probably one of the worst kebabs I've had from kebabzzbar. Whilst it looks well packed in the original picture, the other end was falling apart already at this stage, causing major structural instabilities when I got halfway through the first half and the sauce was running down my arm. This was because the paper wasn't well wrapped and the kebab started falling apart. 3/10

Overall: I've had better kebabs, and especially from this shop. A disappointing week from kebabzzbar. 4/10

Winner: Kebab or memory of Kebab? Memory of Kebab wins hands down. The Chinese looked more appetising than this today.

Red Pepper - Toasted Foccacia

Now little grasshoppers, today is Thursday 4 October 2007 and it is time for this week's lesson. Today's humble words of wisdom from the FOODCOURTGURU are:



"Do not frequent food selling establishments outside of which a queue of obese people has formed - they are obese for a reason."



Today's choice of meal for $7.50 was an all vegetarian affair of toasted pumpkin, feta and spinach in a foccacia.


Presentation: Lots of healthy greens and bright vege colours. No grease or bain-maire cultivated e-coli here. (8/10)

Size: Definitely not for the very hungry. This meal is aimed at the mid-range male diner or alternatively the full-size female diner. A major factor impacting size was the use of a white bread foccacia rather than wholegrain. (refer Quality below for further commentary on this point) (4/10)

Quality: The foccacia itself was fresh and was freshly toasted while you wait. All the ingredients appeared to be fresh and tasted as such. No problems here. The only negative goes back to the use of white bread foccacia rather than wholegrain. This was the only speedbump on the road to a healthy vege meal. (7/10)

Value for money: Scores well on the health and presentation angle. However the size of this offering is the major downside. Paying $7.50 for this mid-range sized foccacia is definitely off target, particularly in a food court context. A price of $5.50 would have been more appropriate. Unfortunately I have to mark this down to (5/10)

Overall: A healthy option from both a size and contents point of view, however too dear at $7.50. Overall verdict: 6/10

The winner: Remains the kebab although this foccacia will be fondly remembered for it's lack of repeat enjoyment throughout the afternoon.